Of course the gas giants don't have problems like that. But they still get teased about their weight. And about being composed entirely of a socially unacceptable substance.
Venus' embarrassing geological features can't even be seen through that thick layer of sulfuric acid and CO2 she always wears. She might get a date once in a while if she ever tried wearing something a little more flattering. But that might make Mars' little problem even worse, I imagine.
. . . not that I have any personal experience with that sort of thing. No, I was NEVER a teenager.
